You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
