I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize