So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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