i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
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