I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
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