I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
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