why didn't you poke me back
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
