i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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