I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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