the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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