hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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