the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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