im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
