I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
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