a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I AM VODKA MAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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