a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
