Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
