He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
