I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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