From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Randomize
