My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
