listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
