Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Also, beer. Big fan.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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