Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
