Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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