Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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