You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Randomize
