I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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