just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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