I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
How external is "for external use only"?
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Randomize
