you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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