the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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