We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
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