Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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