Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Randomize
