Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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