And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
