shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
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