This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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