Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
