The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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