I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Randomize
