I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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