The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Randomize