He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize