k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
