these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
