what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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