So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
