Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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