Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Randomize
