I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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