i would punch a child for taco bell
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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