do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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