Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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