just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
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All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
No...this little piggys going to the bar
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The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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