It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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