you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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