am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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