just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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