i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
