Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize