I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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