How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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