I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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