I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
